Writing

A Letter To Kitty

A Letter To Kitty

Dear Kitty,

When I first met you, you were a shy and scared little thing. It made me wonder what happened before to cause you to be so anxious. Nevertheless, I wanted you to be comfortable. I wanted you to be able to trust me. I introduced you to Rob, and when you realized we wouldn’t hurt you, you opened yourself up to us. You let us play with you and pet you. You climbed on us and licked our faces. I didn’t know how much you were going to mean to me. I mean I always considered myself an “animal lover”. I always wanted to help every animal I’ve come across. I’ve cried over not being able to save a stray dog. I’ve cried over the neighborhood cat getting ran over. I’ve took ownership over my sisters turtles that she didn’t want anymore. I pray for all the stray, lost, and even the polar bears who’s ice is melting. I’ve always said when I become rich I would donate all my money to animal shelters. I considered myself an animal lover. I’ve loved my previous pets I thought. I would shed a tear over losing them. Then you came into my life.

Kitty claiming Rob after first meeting.

We took you with us on our journey to our new home in Lubbock. I gave you chin scratches on the road, which became you’re favorite type of scratch. We brought you inside our apartment, you explored and quickly became comfortable. We stayed inside those wall with you for months straight because of the newly enforced quarantine rules. You binged watch The Office, Catfish, and The Walking Dead with us. You tried to participate with us as we played Mario Kart and Dominos. You watched over us as we cooked breakfast at 12pm. You cuddled with us as we played our video games. We took you to watch fireworks on 4th of July because I wanted you to experience with us. You comforted us when we were sad, angry, and stressed. You attacked our feet as we laid in bed. I would be so mad when you would wake me up in the morning by licking my face. So many memories I wish I could relive all over again. All of those moments were the best times of my life. So simple and happy. Just us 3 being happy and loved.

Kitty chilling at home.

Everyone can agree that 2020 is going down as one of the worst years in history, but to me it was the best. It was the year we made a home in Lubbock. It was the year we got you. And you made our house a home. You were an angel sent to be in our life. To ease our stress. To make us happy when we were upset. To love us unconditionally. And we loved you so much. Every time we thought you were even an ounce of bored or unhappy, we tried to buy anything that would bring your spirits up again. Catnip, wet food, treats. We just wanted you happy all the time. And I know you were so happy and loved. I just hope you knew so too. I just hope you know how much we miss you. I just hope you know how we would do anything for you. I still look for you around the house. I still glance for you in every one of the spots you would sit in. We still keep your food bowl out for you. We still wish you good night and talk aloud for you to hear. And I still feel you here with us.

I feel you in my heart and in my mind. I feel like when you went, your soul just went into our hearts. When I look at videos and pictures of you, I don’t feel like I’m looking at something in the past. I don’t feel like I’m looking at something that’s gone. I still feel you there. I still feel you here. I just want to pull you out of the image and see you in reality. I would do anything to just hold you, kiss your forehead, hold your paws, and feel you on my chest again. I would do anything to just rewind time, even just a couple months or days ago when you were here; just so I could love you more. I wish I could go back to when you were leaving us and just love you and comfort you more. I know we were already smothering you with our love, pets, kisses, and tears. Your forehead was wet from us crying over you. I still just feel like it wasn’t enough. I just hope you knew how much we love you and how much we were going to miss you.

Kitty loving his new toy / hang out spot.

I just want to reassure you we will never forget you and never replace you. I just wish I could tell you how much you changed my life. Because even though I loved you with all my heart, I still didn’t realize how much of an impact you made on me until you weren’t here anymore. I don’t know how I ever even lived before you. I don’t know how I’ve ever been content without you. And even though I will be okay eventually, I will still be missing you. You will always be in the back of my mind. I thought I was an “animal lover”. I thought I loved my pets before. And I am, I did. But you were more than just another animal. You aren’t just a cat. You were our baby. You were our angel. You made us your whole world and you were our whole world. You completed our family. I never felt a loss like this before. I never cried this much before.

You will forever be in my heart. You will forever live in my mind. When I’m happy, I know you’ll be there having fun with us. When I’m upset, I know you’ll be there comforting us. I’m so happy you’re no longer in pain. I’m so happy you can breathe, you can walk, you can run, you can play, you can eat all you’re favorite treats over the rainbow bridge. We will just miss seeing you so much. Just yesterday I saw a TikTok of a cat that looked just like you. Which is weird because we never thought any other orange tabby looked as cute as you before. But this cat did, it was happy and playing. It made me so so happy. It made me think “hey that’s kitty, and he’s living a great life.” Lately a song that has brought me comfort is Talking To The Moon by Bruno Mars. I always loved that song and loved the lyrics for so long. But the song holds a special place now and I finally put a meaning to the lyrics because its how I’m currently feeling. I’m talking outloud, trying to have you hear me just so you can know how you’re missed and loved. And I just hope you’re here listening and talking back. I just want to thank you for all that you did for us. I just want to thank you for being the best cat ever. I just want to thank you for being such a great friend, our best friend. I just want you to know that I feel so lucky to even got the opportunity to have you in my life. You are so special and I will love you and remember you forever. Thank you for your life. Thank you. I love you my baby. I miss you.